Red flags in communication
A red flag is not a single bad message. It is a repeated pattern that consistently leaves one person confused, small, or responsible for the other's feelings.
Start freePatterns worth attention
None of these prove anything on their own. Frequency is what matters.
- Your account of events is routinely rewritten
- Affection reliably follows conflict as a reset, without repair
- Boundaries are treated as problems to negotiate away
- Contact drops as punishment rather than as a need for space
- You apologise for reactions you did not cause
A bad day is not a pattern
People are short-tempered when tired, stressed or scared. The signal is not the incident, it is what happens afterwards: whether there is acknowledgement, repair, and change.
If something feels wrong
Trust the pattern you can describe, not only the feeling. Writing it out often makes the shape obvious. If you are in danger or feel unsafe, contact local support services — this is not what an AI tool is for.
Something feels off but you cannot name it?
Share the conversation and get a careful, non-diagnostic read of the pattern.